The Easiest Way To Make Sure Your Marriage Lasts
March 31, 2023
Weddings are a beautiful celebration of love and commitment. We at Solid Charms are most privileged to be part of this beautiful day in making your dreams come true. However, most times you may over-concentrate on the wedding itself in its preparation that you forget important conversations that need to be had before the wedding day.
Here, we will discuss several issues that can cause problems in your marriage if not addressed and discussed early with the utmost honesty. Tackling these topics is the easiest way to make sure your marriage lasts.
Personal Values And Beliefs
This is the first conversation you should have before marriage. Personal beliefs are one of the factors that attract you to a person when dating begins. However, marriage is a binding contract to be each other's partner for the rest of your life so there needs to be an in-depth conversation on this topic.
Cultural values for one are a big part of who we are. How we are raised informs our morality and more importantly our identity in society. Discussing this with your partner would better help both of you to understand the kind of family that you would be building, especially if both of you come from different cultural backgrounds.
Secondly, political values and views are a hot topic. Disagreement in each other's political views can cause strain in your relationship as it generates doubt about the general values of your partner as a person. This can further make your partner feel like an opponent and not a teammate. You will need to have these discussions in depth and with the intentionality of strengthening your upcoming marriage and giving it the best chance of survival.
Money is a significant source of stress to everyone alive in the current world economy that is driven by commercialism, let alone two people who are trying to start a family. You will both have to divulge information about your incomes, and debts so you can plan on expenses, debt repayment, investing, budgeting, and savings. If both partners work and have careers, you should also discuss your ambitions and financial goals.
It is also important to discuss the possibility of one of you choosing to be a stay-at-home parent and how that would affect your collective financial state. Have a conversation on whether you will combine your assets early or sign a prenuptial agreement. A prenuptial agreement is a document that stipulates what properties an individual owns and what debts they owe and spells out their rights in marriage in the event of a divorce.
This can be a particularly complicated topic as some people see this document as preparation for divorce and not just insurance. By having these conversations, you can avoid conflicts and surprises, and better understand each other with how you manage your finances.
Career and Educational Goals
Your career and education goals are important to discuss before getting married. Different careers have different effects on an individual's schedule and daily habits. Job satisfaction and pain points of their work will be a great factor in their general mood, and joy in your marriage hence this conversation requires a lot of attention.
Knowing also where your partner stands in their work boundaries will help you preview what your marriage would be. In education, there is a positive relationship when there are different levels of education between the partners but this does not mean if you have the same level of education, your marriage is bound to end in divorce.
It is important to understand your partner's career and educational goals and figure out how it aligns with your own goals. By discussing these topics, you can support each other's ambitions and work together to achieve your goals.
Planning your family is another crucial topic that, although listed here as a topic before marriage, this discussion should be held as soon as two people start dating each other. It would mean talking about whether or not you would want children, and if so, how many and when. As a topic, it can be unnerving if you start from a different point together, but honesty is crucial during this discussion.
In family planning, talk about how to raise the children, what would be your parenting style and parenting responsibilities and roles, not limiting how to balance work and family life. If you both decide not to have children, discuss how you would spend your time and money together. Get hobbies to do together that would strengthen your marriage every year.
Communication and conflict resolution
It is not news that there is always conflict in marriage. Having the necessary skills to resolve them will help avoid separation and divorce. Effective communication and conflict resolution are essential components of a healthy relationship. There are many types of conflict that could appear in your marriage, and it is important to get the necessary skills to deal with them.
Examples of such conflict would be conflicting desires, immaturity or brokenness of one person, or when one partner hurts the other. Please find more information on this by reading Six Types of Conflict in Marriage. Understanding how your partner handles conflict and how they communicate during these moments can make or break your marriage.
Go through premarital counseling for at least three months and take each session seriously. By establishing proper communication habits and conflict resolution strategies early on, you can avoid potential conflicts and develop a strong foundation for a healthy marriage.
Religion falls upon the topic of personal values and beliefs, but it is such a problematic topic that it deserves special attention. Our current world is separated by many religions. It would be terrible if it also causes a split in your future family. Having discussions on whether to raise your children in a religious setting is important, let alone choosing which one.
It is advisable to choose a religion that works for both of you before you introduce children into your family. Studies have shown that families that participate in religious practices like prayer increase unity in a marriage. It may not matter which religion you or your partner comes from as long as you can agree on which religion to raise your family or if one of you converts.
If you decide not to do religion, agree on how you will approach the topic in the event your children ask.
The key to a happy and healthy marriage is communication and mutual understanding. By discussing personal values and beliefs, finances, career and education goals, family planning, communication and conflict resolution, and religious practices, we can understand each other's expectations, values, and goals, and lay the foundation for a happy and healthy marriage.
We at SolidCharm, look forward to being to being part of your journey in making your dreams come true for your family. Feel free to look through our store for any of you wedding needs. Your happiness is our first priority.